"Baby Born with Three Heads, Must Be From Brooklyn"

Today I had the privilege of roaming the New York City streets as made my way to my interview at American Media, Inc.

I was late for the 10:15 train and took the 10:35, dropping me into Penn Station around an hour later. Fortunately, American Media was located between 32nd and 33rd Streets at One Park Avenue and so I scurried along past Prada-clad ladies of 7th, the busy shops around 6th, the local eateries on 5th, the few designer shops on Madison, finally letting out a sigh of exhausted relief as I reached my point of destination at 10 minutes to 12. (After some slight exploring, I now also know that Newsday is located just across the street.)

I was whisked onto the third floor where I had to fill out another application before being seen by head of human resources, the pretty Elayna Bloch (with her well manicured fingers, poised stature, and obvious Jewish manneurisms.) I was eager to find out what exactly I was applying for with the company since the Mediabistro ad had failed to say what magazine the company had in store for me.

I assumed this was all part of a certain ploy to get as many curious candidates as possible. Luckily, for me this was another chance at famed magazine stardom, perhaps the stepping stone on the path to future magazine success. Unfortunately for me, it was for a "editorial" position that was completely administrative. And it was for National Enquirer.

Can you imagine me, writing about a boy born with three heads ("Baby born with three heads, must be from Brooklyn," the famed Newsies line comes to mind. I've already heard enough about Britney's baby troubles, Cameron's paparazzi dilemmas and Jessica's marriage woes. And those magazines seem to have an inkling of the truth. Who knew what National Enquirer could conjure up within its glossy pages? Who knows what lows it would resort to to get that juicy story. My Media and Ethics in Journalism class must have taught me something!! I was hoping for Celebrity Living, Shape, perhaps even Star. But not National Enquirer.

Stemming away from the fact it is a seedy tabloid, the position didn't thrill me. It was purely administrative, without the least bit mention of writing tasks (captions, sidebars, I'd do it all) Of course with every editorial assistant position comes the possibility of writing (look at Carol McColgin, the asst. to the editor in chief who became the Red Carpet fashion honcho at Us Weekly and was subsequently promoted to Asst. Editor after a year in the business) but I just didn't feel like sticking out for the long haul at a tabloid.

The interview went well. Needless to say, I will not take the position. No matter, I applied for a position as editorial assistant for Family Circle when I got home.